Greetings and salutations,I am here to dispel the US Weekly, National Enquirer, and other paparazzi-driven myths that may be circulating at this time. No, I have not been abducted nor have my digits been rendered useless. While functional explanations, neither is a plausible rationale for the significant delay in posting a blog discussion. With that said, the blog de jour today may actually serve as some moderate insight into my failure to update my faithful readership in a timely manner.
Often-cited scientific and clinic literature indicates that head injuries can lead to amnesia, otherwise known as a memory failure. This can take the form of a failure to form new memories (antegrade) or an inability to remember things that have happened in the past (retrograde). For instance, consider a lad carefully navigating the complicated world of ambulation. A fall may just result in, say, that individual failing to blog for a couple of weeks. That seems like a situation that could very well transpire.
As Papa informs me, it is my world and he is merely a squirrel trying to get a nut (He also insists that this saying is yet another inane pop culture reference from a hit song from the 1990s, a time when C &C Music Factory ruled the Top 40. Maybe Papa and I can bring back C & C Music Factory; you know, Chrispy and Carter Music Factory. I can bust a move and sell some downloadable MP3s. Yet, that is a topic for another day.). Back to the topic at hand, since the world is at my disposal, I have elected to focus my efforts on ambulation. The delightful art of crawling has been effectively mastered, the massive rug burns on my lower extremities serve as ample justification. Thus, I have attempted to channel the force to be able to walk. Really, it simply makes sound logical sense. If I am to utilize my intestinal fortitude associated with consuming massive quantities of astronaut food, I will certainly need the ability to moon walk in my repertoire.
But alas, I am learning that walking is a tad more complicated than the user manual indicated. While attempting to master the ability to overcome gravity with artful balance and then incorporating the swing-stance phases of the gait, the landing portion of the process was never enumerated. I have been through that blasted Walker's Operator Manual at least a dozen times and nowhere does it detail how one is to dismount from the ambulatory position. Nothing elaborate was needed, just a little guidance. I was looking for something to the effect of "This seat can be used as a cushioning device in the event of a crash" or "The side curtain airbags will be deployed in the event of substantial impact". None of that was to be found. Consequently, I was forced to improvise. Most of the time my gluteal region served as a suitable landing surface; however, there are other occupational hazards that were encountered.
This segues nicely into my first note home from "school". I guess it could have been worse; Mama and Papa would have been none too thrilled if the note was actually a reprimand, similar to when Papa attempted to glue a classmate to a chair...with a glue stick, for example. No, this informatory letter was explaining my inability to master the gravity portion of the ambulation process. It seems that in the process of dismounting my frontal cranial region came into unceremonious contact with a wooden bureau. The result of such a meeting is displayed below...(The arrow is not an MMA-inspired tattoo; Grandpa Sherman would have a coronary. Instated it is meant to focus on the ensuing insult.)
So goes the work of a yeoman. But fear not, trusty followers: 1) the memory is coming around and the blogs will return to a more regular schedule and 2) Papa is already looking for a helmet to prevent further injury. He mentioned something about a dual flap Chicago Cubs number...that would be fantastic!
Carter
Someone in heaven is always looking after me...
