Babies in Space...

Greetings and salutations,

I have come to the undeniable conclusion that Mama and Papa are preparing me for a trip to boldly go where no baby has ever gone before. While only eight and one-half months into my adventures on the Planet Earth, I am left to think that my parents are preparing me for a voyage beyond this domain. The unparalleled dimension of outer space is assuredly on the horizon. I have yet to book a travel agent or contact NASA, but the recent activities in our home certainly point to such an excursion.

Perhaps you are wondering what has me discussing such an apparently outlandish scenario. Well, please allow me to explain. This assertion is not based on a recent run on thermal onesies and jumpsuits. And no, it is not even in reference to my continued training regimen in the simulated zero-gravity environment provided by my Johnny Jump-Up. Instead, I draw your attention to my ever-advancing diet. Yes, Mama and Papa are feeding me astronaut food!

Sure, I suspect that our noble space cadets Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin are accustomed to jarred food similar to the chicken and apples that I now dine upon. But the entire genre of powdered, dehydrated delicacies is quite a phenomenon for me. I do not see Mama and Papa eating these items, clearly indicating that there are bigger things for me in the future. Take my rice and oatmeal for example. These food stuffs are obviously designed for space travel. And the clincher, at least for me, are the snacks Mama provides me. Consider Gerber Graduate Yogurt Melts. These concoctions of the modern culinary arts were probably developed in space and transported back for young astronauts in training. They are almost entirely dehydrated and dissolve when contacted with dihydrogen monoxygen, otherwise known as water to those non-astronauts reading this posting. In fact, early scientific testing on my behalf reveals that these entities dissolve on my highchair when I drool on them. And finally, I have recently been introduced to a snack eerily similar to styrofoam. While quite delectable, this may actually be the same substance utilized to construct the wings of space shuttles.

Now, my astronaut space pallet will require further refining prior to my actual deployment. For instance, no space traveler worth his weight in moon rocks will have failed to savor the delightfully flavorful beverage known as Tang. That, of course, shall come with time. Also, in order to emulate Mr. Armstrong in walking on the moon, I will need to continue making strides on ambulating in general. But, with the dietary concerns already addressed, it will be only a matter of time before I make one small step for babies and one giant leap for babykind.

Carter

Someone in heaven is always looking after me...