Home Improvement...

Greetings and salutations,

This weekend brought a flurry of residential enhancement projects. Papa set forth with a rather lengthy papyrus scroll of tasks to accomplish, the vast majority of which were "suggested" by Mama. She elects to call this a "Honey Do List"; in the strictest of confidence Papa referred to this concoction of chores as...Well, perhaps I should spare Papa the indignities of having to defend himself on that matter. Suffice to say, he put a gracious smile upon his face, enlisted my services, and then called for reinforcements to tackle the tasks that lie ahead.

Papa thought this weekend hiatus would be an ideal time to invite Uncle Tyler over from Ames to assist with the festivities. This is not to suggest that Papa does not have the utmost confidence in my own abilities as a skilled laborer. I have been afforded the latest in top-end tools, including a drill, hammer, and screwdriver. However, Papa did not think that it was a bad idea to have Tyler assist as well. His reputation precedes him, which in this case is a good thing. He is quite handy to have around, even if he does have a propensity to ignore budgetary constraints on occasion. For instance, consider the implementation of outdoor, waterproof wiring in the basement addition. But, as Papa retorts, that is why one sells plasma on the side.

And there you have it...the Three Constructioneers, Drillos, Nailos, and Droolis. We set forth with a virtual cornucopia of home improvement projects. Our endeavors were similar to the hit situational comedy from the 1990s entitled Home Improvement. Now, I admittedly have but a rudimentary knowledge of this bit of popular culture. However, after watching that which transpired this weekend I am comfortable drawing a couple of comparisons. First, I think Tyler is a lot like Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. He is always grunting and looking for a manner in which to implement more power. Papa seems to fit the mold of Al Borland. While he does not meet the body mass index criteria for this lovable character, he does seem to serve in the practical capacity, always present to assist The Tool Man in his time of need. Now, Uncle Tyler will probably insist that he is more like Mr. Borland in terms of his technical know-how. That point can be debated, but he is akin to Al in at least one regard. As you are all assuredly aware, Al Borland was notoriously ridiculed for his attire, specifically his persistent use of flannel. Although Uncle Tyler never wore any flannel, he did receive a fair share of mockery for donning grey sweatpants with cowboy boots. He should have Mama dress him like she does me.

Anyway, we did have a remarkably productive weekend. A new glass door was mounted in the enclave of our palatial home. The existing front door was spruced up with a striking shade of dark cappuccino. The interior of the home was caulked in several locales. New lighting was strewn about the exterior more accommodating to the architectural features of the house. A remarkably complicated timing system was installed to control said lights. And of course, numerous enhancements were made to the Cubs Family Museum. As you might have surmised, Papa and Uncle Tyler (along with Mama and Laura) did the bulk of the work. Nonetheless, my role as supervisor should not go unnoticed. My leadership style lends itself to sternness when needed but an overall focus on camaraderie with the proletariat that does the heavy lifting. This combination proved extremely effective, enabling us to accomplish a great deal. In the end, to conclude the Home Improvement analogy, my proclivities are similar to those of Wilson, the eccentric yet knowledgeable neighbor. Always there to provide that extra insight and wisdom, I really made this weekend happen. The key difference being, of course, that I am not tall enough to hid my face behind a fence. But Mama insists that it is far better that I show off my face, as I am far more handsome than said Wilson. And heck, who am I to argue?


Carter

Someone in heaven is always looking after me...